Why do we give up? (And how not to)
The legendary Michael Jordan was once cut from his high school basket ball team.
When Elon Musk presented the world with the idea of reusable rockets, most of the world deemed it impossible.
Walt Disney was fired by an editor because, “he lacked imagination and had no original ideas."
The fact that we know these people and their stories is a testament to their success and their ‘Never give up’ attitude. In fact, it is universally known that perseverance will eventually lead to success. Yet, most of us —
- give up on our fitness goals, because waking up early is too hard.
- give up on our writing quota, because no one wants to read our post.
- give up on our business idea, because everyone around us tells us that it will fail.
Here are the major reasons why we give up and how we can fight the urge to give up—
We don’t have a strong ‘Why?’
Each time we need to work towards a goal, our mind asks us (subconsciously) —
Why?
If the reason we present isn’t powerful enough, our mind chooses to laze around instead of putting in the work.
I have seen numerous people hit the gym to build a perfect physique, just before summer. They enter the gym on the first day and discuss with each other on how their summer body will draw the attention of every person in the world.
Fast forward 5 days, these people are nowhere close to the gym. They give up because their ‘Why?’ isn’t something that is worth putting an effort to. Think about it —
Would you put in hours of physical torture to your body, give up on your favorite food and take a jog around your block everyday, just to impress other people?
I wouldn’t!
The best way to stick to a goal is to have a powerful ‘Why?’. The following are some characteristics of a powerful ‘Why?’ —
- Personal — Your ‘Why?’ should involve the most important person in your life, YOU.
For example, working out to reach personal milestones is a better ‘Why?’ than working out to impress other people. - Positive — Your ‘Why?’ shouldn’t focus on avoiding a negative, it should focus on building a positive.
For example, working out to become fitter is a better ‘Why?’ than working out to avoid being fat.
People tell us it is ‘impossible’ and we believe them
Often, we seek validation from the people around us. We tell them our goals, in hopes of receiving some comforting encouragement. To our dismay, all we receive is utter disappointment. The very people we rely on, tell us that our goal is an impossible feat!
The problem starts when actually start believing them.
Although it is impossible to deal with the general pessimism that people throw at you, there is a way to filter the noise —
- If the person who is telling you that your goal is unattainable is someone you don’t value, then don’t value their opinion. Save yourself the trouble and continue focussing on your goals!
- If the person who is telling you that your goal is unattainable is someone you value, understand that their opinion is out of concern. Tell them that you are capable of what lies ahead of you, smile and continue to pursue your goal. Fail or succeed, you’ll surely make these people proud.
Our goals aren’t exciting enough
Most of us scale down our goals to make it more realistic. We fail to realize that the smaller our goal, the lesser we care for it.
Imagine if you had the goal of becoming the best in your career. Now, imagine if you had the goal of becoming ‘OK’ in your career.
Which goal would make you want to wake up everyday and work your butt off?
The former one, I presume.
Stop scaling down your goals to fit it into the society’s perspective. It’s YOUR goal, make it big and make it worth working towards!
We aren’t making it a lifestyle
The easiest way to lose track of a goal is to force fit it into our life. We need to understand that pursuing a goal is about making lifestyle changes. We can’t continue to do what we do and achieve our goals.
For example, I wanted to write Medium posts regularly. Initially I used to do it right before I slept. The problem was, I would be sleepy by the time I got to writing the post. I lost numerous days of writing because I was force fitting the writing into my schedule.
To combat this problem, I began to look for a time where I had immense energy and very few things to do. It was the time I just came back from work. I started using that as a designated writing time and I’ve been much more regular to my writing ritual.
The idea of achieving your goal is much more than envisioning the goal and planning the path you’d take to achieve it. It is about engraining the process into your life.
Make your pursuit towards the goal a lifestyle and I promise you that the results will come.
In Summary
The unifying trait of all successful people is their ‘Never give up’ attitude. Not giving up may seem like a Herculean task, but here are a few tips to help you give up your habit of giving up —
- The surest way to be focussed on a goal is to know ‘Why?’ you are pursuing it. If the reasons are Personal and Positive, you have a strong ‘Why?’ to guide you through the process.
- People around you may tell you that your goals are impossible to achieve. It’s YOUR goal, don’t wait for anyone’s validation.
- Make sure that the goal you are pursuing excites you. This excitement will give you the extra push to achieve it.
- Pursuing goals is about making lifestyle changes. Commit to a lifestyle change and your life will surely change.
Don’t give up! Success is right around the corner.
This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by 312,921+ people.
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